a calm place to be

where you don’t have to manage everything alone.

Therapy for Boarding School Survivors
- growing into living

You may be used to coping on your own, staying capable, or keeping your feelings inside. Here, you don’t have to.

Hello, I’m David Houliston.

As counsellor I support those who attended boarding school (I’m an ex-boarder myself), locally or abroad, helping those whose early experiences have often led to a life in survival mode rather than living joyously and authentically in the present. Based in the UK, I offer online therapy worldwide (excluding the US and Canada).

man looking out over water into a forest

Early separation and institutional care can leave lasting patterns — emotional shutdown, self-reliance, hidden grief, difficulty trusting, or feeling cut off from your own needs.

Boarding school shapes more than your education — it shapes your inner world.

Understanding the legacy

Many people who were sent away describe a very particular kind of injury: years of coping by shutting down, staying competent, not letting feelings get in the way — and then, later in life, something gives. Anxiety hits. Grief surfaces. Relationships shake. The body stops cooperating with the old “hold it together” strategy.

You may recognise yourself in descriptions of Boarding School Syndrome, or have tried general counselling before and felt the boarding school piece needed a more specialist space.

Learn more about Boarding School Syndrome

Note: This work is not only for people in crisis — it is for anyone who wants to understand the legacy of early separation and live with more ease, connection, and self-permission.

From surviving to living

Healing from a boarding school upbringing is not only about looking back — it’s about finding new ways to live and relate in the present.

Through this work, many people find they can:

Feel more connected to themselves and others, instead of standing at a distance.
Begin to trust relationships and allow closeness without fear of being hurt or controlled.
Live more fully in the moment, rather than driven by the need to stay busy or strong.
Let go of old survival patterns that once kept them safe but now cause disconnection.
Meet their younger self with compassion and understanding.
Develop a steadier sense of self-worth that isn’t tied to achievement or control.
Experience more ease, warmth, and joy in everyday life.

Each person’s journey is different, but this process can help you move from surviving to living — with more choice, connection, and freedom to be yourself.

How Counselling Can Help

If you’re interested in starting counselling why not book a free 20 minute call to talk about it?

Get in Touch

A boarding school pupil with a book on her head with a desk and study material in the background

Ex-Boarders are different!

Standard counselling may not always address the experiences of boarding school directly. In ex-boarder counselling, the focus is on the specific patterns, emotional habits, and relational challenges that often come from life in boarding school. This is a space where your history is understood, your questions are taken seriously, and you can explore your sense of self without judgment.

Here, you can start to make sense of your past, understand how it shapes your present, and take steps toward a life that feels authentically yours.

My approach is humanistic: the work is grounded in the present moment, in safety, in helping you feel what could not be felt then, and in supporting you to build a life that is not run by the systems you had to adapt to as a child.

In this work we don’t pathologise those adaptations — we understand them as what kept you safe in an environment that did not protect your emotional life. The focus is on what happens next: how to live now without needing those old survival strategies

Practical Details

David Houliston MBACP, BSc Psy (Honours) with Counselling
Sessions: 50 minutes
Cost: £45 per session
Introductory Call: Free 20-minute consultation
Format: Online
International: UK-based, working with clients worldwide (except the US and Canada) via online sessions

I aim to keep my rates accessible while offering a high standard of support and depth of work. I hold a limited number of spaces for people who might otherwise find therapy out of reach.

Contact me for a free 20 min intro